Mother's Day

Mother's Days have come and gone and I expressed my love for Mom in one way or another with flowers, visits, sometimes just a card and a phone call. Mom never demanded anything and she was always grateful for whatever effort I made. I never thought about her not being here. Of course, once in a while there would be a fleeting moment of angst when the unthinkable would skitter across my mind. But to think of my loving, thoughtful, generous Mom being gone... well, it was just unthinkable--you think your Mom will always be there.

But this Mother's Day she is gone. On February 17th, 2009 at 75 years old, my dear, sweet Mother lost her life to lung cancer. She'd fought her way back from the brink of death more than a decade ago when 40 years of smoking landed her repeatedly in the emergency room unable to breathe. She quite smoking over 13 years ago and it bought her more than a decade of life. It was a tough decade.

Mom's every thought for almost as long as I can remember was about how she would get enough breath to do the next thing. Not a move was made without first assessing how much of her precious, limited air it would consume. Still, it didn't stop her from doing much of anything that she wanted to do. Well, other than rearrange the living room furniture, oh how she missed doing that. Even after Dad died in 2002, she continued to shuttle herself around in her beloved little black Rav4, its dashboard blanketed with stuffed animals and bobble-head figures she'd gotten from her kids, and her grand and great grand children. I think part of why she loved the car so much was because it had been mine first. Long trips to Elko became less frequent, but trips to Wal-Mart and WinCo were never far apart. She'd take her time, sit and watch people when she needed to catch her breath, and right up until her last outing to Wal-Mart she refused to even think about wearing oxygen out in public. Mom was always worried about what others would think. It runs in the family.

She was diagnosed in December and gone by the middle of February. From the moment she found out, she was steadfast in her refusal to even consider treatment. After suffering along with Dad and what he went through with chemotherapy and radiation she was positive that she wanted no part of it. Her diagnosis was late stage 4 -- so treatment wasn't an option anyway. In some ways I think she was relieved to get the diagnosis. She kept telling me that she was ready. She was tired. She didn't have the energy to keep fighting for every breath.

Thankfully, she was able to maintain a high quality of life right to the very end. With hospice care she was able to stay in the home she loved and she was surrounded by the family and friends who so thoroughly loved her. Her family of neighbors stepped in for her sons who lived miles away. Who can really ask for more than that as we let go of this life?

I have the lovely memory of several trips Mom made to visit me in Seattle. The picture here is one taken at the very top row of Safeco Field baseball stadium. The first ever major league baseball game she had ever attended. What a wonderful day we had. The picture taken from the top row had special meaning. You can only take an elevator so far up in the stadium. The rest of the way you're hoofing it up some of the steepest stairs you'll ever see. I'll never forget as we stood at the bottom of what appeared to be an endless staircase to the clouds, not realizing at the time that our seats were in the very top row. Stairs are the biggest fear for someone with breathing problems, but she trooped up the stairs barely even slowing down for a rest -- truly amazing us both! Seattle was magical that way for her. Being at sea level, she had new found energy and vigor here that she couldn't even imagine having at home where the elevation was high and the air was thin.

Some of the best times I had with Mom and Dad were spent scouting around Seattle, combing Pike Place Market, exploring Whidbey Island, drinking in the visual beauty of the Skagit County tulip festival. It was a whole new world for the Nevada rancher and his wife of nearly 50 years.

This Mother's Day I am both thankful and sad. Thankful for having such luck to get an endlessly loving mother. Also thankful that her long, exhausting struggle is over. She was tired and she was ready, even though I wasn't. And then there is the sadness. I really have no words. When I try to examine the feelings inside they threaten to consume me. So, for now, all I can say is I've lost my best friend, the most important person in my life, and although everyone says it will get easier, right now I can't possibly believe that it will.

I love you Mom.

__

Oh! The Places You'll Go!

Oh! The Places You’ll Go!
The last book published by the incomparable Dr. Seuss

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.

You’ll look up and down streets. Look’em over with care. About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.” With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down a not-so-good street.

And you may not find any you’ll want to go down. In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town. It’s opener there in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too.

Oh! The Places You’ll Go!

You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.

You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed. You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don’t.
Because, sometimes, you won’t.

I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you.

You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch. And your gang will fly on. You’ll be left in a Lurch.

You’ll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump. And the chances are, then, that you’ll be in a Slump.

And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked. A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And if you go in, should you turn left or right…or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite? Or go around back and sneak in from behind? Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find, for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.

The Waiting Place…for people just waiting.

Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting.

No! That’s not for you!
Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying. You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing. With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky. Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all. Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be, with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don’t. Because, sometimes, they won’t.

I’m afraid that some times you’ll play lonely games too. Games you can’t win ‘cause you’ll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not, Alone will be something you’ll be quite a lot.

And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants. There are some, down the road between hither and yon, that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.

But on you will go though the weather be foul. On you will go though your enemies prowl. On you will go though the Hakken-Kraks howl. Onward up many a frightening creek, though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak. On and on you will hike. And I know you’ll hike far and face up to your problems whatever they are.

You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.)

Kid, you’ll move mountains!
So…be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ale Van Allen O’Shea, you’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!

10 simple ways to save yourself from messing up your life

By Adrian Savage

1. Stop taking so much notice of how you feel. How you feel is how you feel. It’ll pass soon. What you’re thinking is what you’re thinking. It’ll go too. Tell yourself that whatever you feel, you feel; whatever you think, you think. Since you can’t stop yourself thinking, or prevent emotions from arising in your mind, it makes no sense to be proud or ashamed of either. You didn't cause them. Only your actions are directly under your control. They’re the only proper cause of pleasure or shame.
   
2. Let go of worrying. It often makes things worse. The more you think about something bad, the more likely it is to happen. When you’re hair-trigger primed to notice the first sign of trouble, you’ll surely find something close enough to convince yourself it’s come.
   
3. Ease up on the internal life commentary. If you want to be happy, stop telling yourself you’re miserable. People are always telling themselves how they feel, what they’re thinking, what others feel about them, what this or that event really means. Most of it’s imagination. The rest is equal parts lies and misunderstandings. You have only the most limited understanding of what others feel about you. Usually they’re no better informed on the subject; and they care about it far less than you do. You have no way of knowing what this or that event really means. Whatever you tell yourself will be make-believe.
   
4. Take no notice of your inner critic. Judging yourself is pointless. Judging others is half-witted. Whatever you achieve, someone else will always do better. However bad you are, others are worse. Since you can tell neither what’s best nor what’s worst, how can you place yourself correctly between them? Judging others is foolish since you cannot know all the facts, cannot create a reliable or objective scale, have no means of knowing whether your criteria match anyone else’s, and cannot have more than a limited and extremely partial view of the other person. Who cares about your opinion anyway?
   
5. Give up on feeling guilty. Guilt changes nothing. It may make you feel you’re accepting responsibility, but it can’t produce anything new in your life. If you feel guilty about something you've done, either do something to put it right or accept you screwed up and try not to do so again. Then let it go. If you’re feeling guilty about what someone else did, see a psychiatrist. That’s insane.
   
6. Stop being concerned with what the rest of the world says about you. Nasty people can’t make you mad. Nice people can’t make you happy. Events or people are simply events or people. They can’t make you anything. You have to do that for yourself. Whatever emotions arise in you as a result of external events, they’re powerless until you pick them up and decide to act on them. Besides, most people are far too busy thinking about themselves (and worry what you are are thinking and saying about them) to be concerned about you.
   
7. Stop keeping score. Numbers are just numbers. They don’t have mystical powers. Because something is expressed as a number, a ratio or any other numerical pattern doesn't mean it’s true. Plenty of lovingly calculated business indicators are irrelevant, gibberish, nonsensical, or just plain wrong. If you don’t understand it, or it’s telling you something bizarre, ignore it. There’s nothing scientific about relying on false data. Nor anything useful about charting your life by numbers that were silly in the first place.
   
8. Don’t be concerned that your life and career aren't working out the way you planned. The closer you stick to any plan, the quicker you’ll go wrong. The world changes constantly. However carefully you analyzed the situation when you made the plan, if it’s more than a few days old, things will already be different. After a month, they’ll be very different. After a year, virtually nothing will be the same as it was when you started. Planning is only useful as a discipline to force people to think carefully about what they know and what they don’t. Once you start, throw the plan away and keep your eyes on reality.
   
9. Don’t let others use you to avoid being responsible for their own decisions. To hold yourself responsible for someone else’s success and happiness demeans them and proves you've lost the plot. It’s their life. They have to live it. You can’t do it for them; nor can you stop them from messing it up if they’re determined to do so. The job of a supervisor is to help and supervise. Only control-freaks and some others with a less serious mental disability fail to understand this.
   
10. Don’t worry about about your personality. You don’t really have one. Personality, like ego, is a concept invented by your mind. It doesn't exist in the real world. Personality is a word for the general impression that you give through your words and actions. If your personality isn't likable today, don’t worry. You can always change it, so long as you allow yourself to do so. What fixes someone’s personality in one place is a determined effort on their part-usually through continually telling themselves they’re this or that kind of person and acting on what they say. If you don’t like the way you are, make yourself different. You’re the only person who’s standing in your way.

Adrian Savage is a writer, an Englishman, and a retired business executive, in that order. He lives in Tucson, Arizona. You can read his other articles at Slow Leadership, the site for everyone who wants to build a civilized place to work and bring back the taste, zest and satisfaction to leadership and life, The Creativity Class: a place to discover the best ideas on having the best ideas, and Working Potential, where you’ll learn about great ideas for self-development.

LOST! LOST! LOST!

I love LOST.

Really, I do. But come on! How damn confusing does one stupid show need to be? I'm a notorious multi-tasker. With the Internet, Texas Hold 'em on my Blackberry, scribbling through the Sudoku puzzle book my mom bought me for Christmas, magazines, the daily mail... etc. I'm usually futzing around with one of those other things while I watch TV. But for LOST, I turn off my computer, put my phone out of reach, and I don't even think about what the postman stuffed in my box that day. Hell, I even bought a 47" HDTV which I intently watch, unblinking, fully engaged, scanning for any tiny hint, twitch, or twitter that may be a key or even a skimpy clue to the season's storyline. BUT NOTHING! Just one seemingly unfitting and unrelated jigsaw puzzle piece after the other.

My friend Wayne (who watches irritatingly little TV) is a master jigsaw puzzle uh... player? Not sure of the noun there. He gets jigsaw puzzles as gifts that have a higher piece count than Carter's has pills (I need to come up with a catchy quantity metaphor from this century). We're not talking a puzzle amature here. If there is such a thing as professional jigsaw puzzling, Wayne would kick ass. I know he can whip together the world's largest puzzle (an 18,000 piece mind-scrambling picture of ancient world maps) but if LOST were a jigsaw puzzle, I think it would reduce even my jigsaw puzzle savant friend to a weaping puddle.

In case you think I'm kidding about the insane map jigsaw puzzle I mentioned above, here's the proof. For most of the non-jigsaw-puzzle-savant universe, this cut up cardboard version of waterboarding (which the CIA will neither confirm nor deny "we don't talk about techniques, but we don't torture" -- yeah, right) can be yours for a mere $150. Quite a deal when you consider this one jigsaw puzzle would probably be a lifetime hobby for most humans. In case you're tempted, here's a link to 4 Historic World Maps Worlds Largest Jigsaw Puzzle 18000 pc .

So, back to LOST. Lest you think I'm a lazy viewer, let me tell you the lengths I've gone to trying to figure out this enigma. For one thing, I read through endless opining about the show on the LOST Message Boards at ABC. Like most fans obsessed with something, the LOST fans are no slackers in the energy they expend concocting theories about every jot and tittle of the show. These folks find deep and twisted meaning behind every scene of the show. I myself draw the line at watching even the more convoluted episodes only twice... I'm not nearly versed enough in every second of every episode to participate in the chatter, but it's fun to lurk.

A common tool that writers of these brain-twisting shows use is anagrams. You know, a word or words formed by rearranging the letters of another word. So, in last night's episode, in one of many mind-numbing flashbacks as Ben and his father first arrive on the island there is a sign welcoming them with the word "Namaste." A quick Wikipedia search revealed that the obvious definition of the word is "an Indian greeting or parting phrase as well as a gesture." But I'm not fooled by the obvious so I take this new clue word "Namaste" to an Anagram Generator to find out what this new clue really means!

AH-HA! If you watch the show you know that one of the more popular theories about the plot is that the "survivors" are actually all dead (confirmed by a new arrival to the island last week who said the outside world believes them all dead and that the plane was found at the bottom of the ocean someplace else). The theory is that they are actually in Hell or pergetory or something. If you didn't know that and I just spoiled it for you, sorry.

So, back to the anagram. It's so obvious now! The letters of the word Namaste rearrange into the words "Satan Me." WOW! That must mean something, right? Hell-->Satan Me. Right? OK, OK, so the letters of the word Namaste also rearrange into the words "Santa Me," and "Same Ant," but what the hell would that mean?

Oh, I give up. I guess I'm just going to have to keep watching and hope that the writers aren't sadistic enough to keep digging this hole of confusion until we all give up and tune into CSI NY on Wednesday nights. At least those CSI blood-soaked mysteries are solved at the end of every hour. In the meantime, maybe I'll send away for this jigsaw puzzle and invite Wayne over. Who knows, maybe this is where all the real clues are and at a measly 1000 pieces he should have it knocked out in 10 or 15 minutes.

Season Premier of "Almost Lifelike"!

I know what you're saying... what kind of a guy sets up a big Blog cliffhanger about impending layoff, possible new job, and a big health problem and then doesn't follow-up with regular updates? Well, this kind of person, apparently. Sorry for the extended absence, but just think of how long we had to wait for The Sopranos new season!

It's Spring! The sun has returned to gorgeous Seattle. OK, not so much today, but at least we're out of the deep gloom that was so unusually long this winter. How much am I loving the back yard again! A lot. :-)


So, here is the update I'm sure you've been anxiously awaiting.

I started back to work at Cingular (Now the New AT&T -- as opposed to the old AT&T that I first started working for over 7 years ago, but whatever) in November on the same team and in the same position I left in August. The team was very happy to have me back and after the nightmare of Infospace I was (and continue to be) quite happy to be back.

Don't misunderstand, neither the job nor the company is perfect. But in the grand scheme of things as long as I'm going to work in IT it's nice to be someplace I am knowledgeable, know the teams, and have the confidence of my business partners. Until I can find a nice small business and can unplug from the high-stress tech merry-go-round, this isn't a bad place to be.

So, there's the job taken care of; on to the health update. After some web research on liver function, I decided to try and improve mine with some changes to diet and exercise. My time line for seeing results was 6 months. When I went back in for a checkup I found out that my GP at Evergreen had left abruptly so I started seeing a new doctor. Had a blood workup and went in to review the results with the new doctor. He looked at the current liver function and compared it to my past results and had 2 important observations:
1. The liver function has remained very stable over the past several years. It is not worsening.
2. While the liver function is slightly elevated above "normal." The key word there is "slightly" and is not unusual in obese patients.

Bottom line, slightly above normal is not unusual in patients with a weight history such as mine (been overweight since I was 7 and have been dieting my whole life), AND it's not getting progressively worse which would be the real red flag. Very good news and quite a relief. I also found an herbal remedy that has a long history of improving liver function called Milk Thistle. I've started taking that and will get tested again in a few months to see if it's helping.

Additionally, I've finally gotten over the whole idea of "dieting." PBS aired a fascinating special on obesity a few weeks ago called Fat: What No One Is Telling You that reviewed the latest medical research and presented various individuals dealing with weight issues. You can watch it online here http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/takeonestep/fat/index.html. The bottom line, which should surprise no one, is that calorie restrictive diets do not work. The statistics on the number of dieters who regain all or more of the weight they've lost are devastating.

The advice? Stop dieting. Gradually improve your food choices and move your body more. Sounds ridiculously simple, doesn't it? No potions, powders, or magical machines required to improve your health? Nope. The medical community is finally coming to terms with the reality that genetically -- yes, at a molecular level -- we are all predisposed to a particular body type.

I hear you asking, "if it's genetic then why alter my behavior?" Is weight/health impacted by actions and environment? Of course! First off, dieting is a medically proven way to ensure that you will become an obese adult. On the positive side, just because you don't fall within the insurance company guidelines for healthy weight (which a precious few people actually do), it doesn't mean you can't be healthy! We MUST get over this idea that thinness = health. It simply isn't true and is destroying the health of millions who starve themselves thin only to end up much fatter than they were before they started.

Several startling studies found that overweight adults who had never been on a calorie restricted diet had a better overall health profile than those overweight adults who had been on one or more restrictive diets. Again, diets not only don't help, they do harm.

Well, there's hopefully the start of more consistent blogging. Encouragement may help... :-)

And how did you spend your Fall?

Here's how the last few months have gone for me...

The drama has been running high for the past few months. Here's the timeline.

8/28 -- Kurt quits Cingular Wireless after 7 years and starts a new job at Infospace. Riding the bus is going to be a bit of a challenge, but all-in-all, life is good.

9/13 -- Infospace announces that they have lost a large contract with Cingular Wireless and will be laying off 40% of their workforce. Yes, forty percent.

9/22 -- Less than a month after starting, Kurt gets his layoff notice from Infospace because the company he left is dumping the company he came to. Last day is March 31, 2007, about 5 1/2 months away. A freakishly long layoff notice.

9/22 to 10/30 -- All the projects Kurt is working on get systematically cancelled and he surfs the Internet all day. Kurt's boss, probably due to insane guilt, avoids Kurt and sees him exactly 30 minutes a week in a useless status meeting. Life has turned into a living hell.

10/20 -- Kurt gets referred to a gastroenterologist because of elevated liver function and finds out that the gastric bypass he had 8 years ago is damaging his liver. If it can't be controlled he'll need to have the bypass reversed. Now he may be facing major surgery and a lengthy recovery about the time he needs to be finding a new job.

10/31 -- Kurt gets a call from his old boss at Cingular Wireless who has heard of his impending layoff. The backfill for his position has just been approved. Kurt's boss desperately wants him to come back and will give him a big raise and bridge his service preserving his seniority, benefits (vacation, bonus, etc...) if he does.

11/2 -- Kurt folds like a cheap suit and accepts the position (once it is agreed that he won't be working 24/7 like he was before) and his first day back at Cingular Wireless (very soon to become AT&T again) will be November 20.

No, seriously. You can't make shit like this up.

It's in the stars

Thought this was too cute not to share. Kit 'n' Carlyle is one of my favorite cartoons, you can find it here daily Kit 'n' Carlyle.

Hypocrisy abounds

A bit dated since President Clinton went off on Fox news a week or two ago, but really liked this cartoon by Nick Anderson.

The Onion Reports on Flustered Bush

Flustered Bush Misses Air Force One Flight

October 3, 2006 -- The Onion
CAMP SPRINGS, MD—Despite sprinting through the Andrews Air Force Base south terminal, President Bush narrowly missed his Air Force One flight to Boise earlier today after arriving just moments after the plane's doors had closed.

The 12-person crew was not able to accommodate the president due to strict federal guidelines requiring all passengers to arrive at their departure gate 15 minutes prior to takeoff—guidelines flight officials say are especially important considering heightened security around the president. When Bush inquired into the possibility of being placed on standby for Air Force Two, the exasperated commander in chief was informed that the flight was full and Vice President Dick Cheney was unwilling to give up his seat.

Read the whole hilarious parody here: The Onion

Having a little hissing fit

At 8:32 Sunday morning, May 18, 1980, Mount St. Helens erupted.

Shaken by an earthquake measuring 5.1 on the Richter scale, the north face of this tall symmetrical mountain collapsed in a massive rock debris avalanche. Nearly 230 square miles of forest was blown down or buried beneath volcanic deposits. At the same time a mushroom-shaped column of ash rose thousands of feet skyward and drifted downwind, turning day into night as dark, gray ash fell over eastern Washington and beyond. The eruption lasted 9 hours, but Mount St. Helens and the surrounding landscape were dramatically changed within moments.

It's hard to believe that eruption was over 25 years ago. In "volcanic" time, 25 years is just a blip, of course. Most days, all is quiet on Mount St. Helens. The mountain lays peacefully in the sun or, more commonly, hunkers down with a shawl of clouds snuggled in around her shoulders. The mountain, although half the size she was before the eruption, is still an awesomely powerful sight, even from miles and miles away.

Although you may think there's little to see at Mount St. Helens beyond the wonder of nature repairing itself 25 years after what seemed like irreparable devastation, it's fascinating to see now how Mount St. Helens is starting the slow process of actually rebuilding herself to her previous stature. The U.S. Forest Service maintains a Mount St. Helens web cam pointed at the mountain to quietly, patiently watch and wait.

How do mountains rebuild themselves? On a clear day at Mount St. Helens you see the new mountain slowly expanding as a steamy, crawling bubble, known as the dome, in the middle of the cauldron that was created by the eruption. The web cam takes a new picture every 5 minutes to document the mountain's steady progress.

This sunny Sunday morning on the first day of October, the mountain is having a bit of a hissing fit. The cold fall mornings help to show off the molten activity happening in the mysterious cauldron of Mount St. Helens. If you look closely, you can see the new dome that is growing in the middle of the cauldron. The dome is created by molten lava flowing up from deep inside the earth and slowly, steadily, patiently rebuilding what, 25 years ago, was exploded away in a fiery, devastating explosion. As the hot lava boils out into the cold morning air you can see the steam escaping and a trail of white puffy clouds trailing away over her back.

There is no way to predict if this slow, steady growth will continue or if Mount St. Helens will some day have another major eruption, blasting away the progress towards rebuilding she continues day after day to make. I find myself peaking in on Mount St. Helens several times a week. Looking to see what she's doing. In some way it is oddly comforting to ponder the solid reality of the earth in sharp contrast to the unreality of politics, work-life, traffic, and TV. The daily haze of activity that we all swirl around in day in and day out stands in sharp contrast to Mount St. Helens' slow and steady march back into the sky.

Give me soft news or give me... well, just soft news.

Had enough of all the bad news going on in the world? Tired of thinking about that nasty war so far away and all the people dying?

Apparently the editors at Newsweek think you are. For the October 2nd edition of Newsweek this is the cover you'll see if you buy the magazine in the US.

The tag line for the article "In her new book, Annie Leibovitz, our most famous photographer, places celebs side by side with surprisingly personal images of love and loss. An exclusive."

With all that's going in in the world and across the US, Newsweek runs a cover of someone famous for photographing celebrities. Don't get me wrong, I think Annie Leibovitz is brilliant. She's an amazing photographer and has had an amazing career. But is this really the most important "news" of the week?

Turns out, only if you're in the US. On the other hand, if you are outside the US, Newsweek apparently knows that "real" news is what you are reading NEWSweek for. The Newsweek cover of October 2nd for magazines sold outside the US has this extremely disturbing photo of an Afghan fighter ready to launch a rocket that highlights a story about the real danger of losing the "War on Terror" in Afghanistan.

Michelle Pilecki on Eat The Press explains that "Celebrity covers nearly always sell far more than mere news... the actual differences in sales can be huge. And a foreign news story, in particular, is the kiss of death for newsstand sales, regardless of how important the story is."

It's appalling to think that not only has Bush's war left the vast majority of Americans untouched (only a tiny percentage of the population actually serve in the armed forces, and my lifestyle certainly hasn't change, has yours?), but magazine editors have realized we won't even buy their magazines to read about the cost and dangers of this war.

Liver and Onions

Well, in this case, it's just the liver. My liver function has been elevated for some time now. A couple weeks ago I had an ultrasound of my liver which showed "fatty liver" condition. So, my doctor has referred me to a Gastrointerologist for follow-up to see if a biopsy or other tests are indicated.

Interesting that this is a fairly common side effect for people who have had gastric bypass surgery. Since I've had it twice, I guess I was a shoe-in for the condition.

WebMd says this about what the condition "can", not necessarily "will", lead to:

Nonalcoholic Steatohepatitis (NASH)

Nonalcoholic steatohepatitis (NASH) is a part of a group of liver diseases known as nonalcoholic fatty liver disease (NAFLD). The buildup of fat in the cells of the liver is called fatty liver, or steatosis, and in itself is not harmful. Many people have fatty liver. In NASH, the fat buildup causes inflammation of the liver, which can lead to symptoms such as fatigue, weight loss, and weakness.

NASH typically appears in people during middle-age, in their 40s and 50s, but it can happen earlier or later in life. It occurs equally in men and women.

Early on, the buildup of fat does not affect the function of the liver, and you will have no symptoms. As fat continues to build up and inflammation occurs, liver function begins to decline and symptoms develop. This inflammation leads to scarring and severe damage of the liver.

There is no clear reason why some people with fatty liver develop NASH and others do not.
Once the liver has been damaged, there is a much greater chance that the damage will continue and get worse. In some cases, the disease progression can stop and even reverse on its own without treatment. In other cases, however, NASH can slowly get worse and cause scarring (fibrosis) of the liver, which leads to cirrhosis. Cirrhosis means that the liver has become scarred and hardened and is not able to function normally.

NASH progresses to advanced liver disease in about 15% to 20% of cases.

Bush's own agencies say Iraq war has generated more terrorists and made us less safe...

A story in Sunday's New York Times--"Spy Agencies Say Iraq War Worsens Terror Threat"--details a National Intelligence report that describes how the invasion and occupation of Iraq has fueled radical Islamic violence around the world.

Unless you've been viewing the world strictly through the rose-colored neo-conservative glasses apparently issued to every member of the Bush administration and its shrinking fan base, then you know that the world isn't a better place now than it was three years ago when the Bushies took their eye off the ball and invaded Iraq.

We can all agree that Saddam Husein isn't a nice guy. As dictator of Iraq he was responsible for any number of inhumane acts of unspeakable violence against the people in his own country. However, the same thing can be said about any number of despotic leaders across the world. Why don't we care enough about the people of those countries to invade and force a regime change? Simple. They don't have oil so they don't count. Oh, and there's that little matter of those other leaders never having threatened to kill the elder Bush, so baby Bush doesn't have the same perverse obsession with them as he has with Husein.

Now, here we are, five years after 9/11 and three years after the invasion of Iraq where American forces have been doing their damnedest to stay a step ahead of the growing violence brought on by an ever-strengthening insurgence made up of some mix of sectarian violence (religious infighting between the various sects in Iraq) and Islamic fundamentalists who now have an unstable country to launch endless attacks from now that Saddam is gone.

Yup, come to find out (wouldn't you have thought this would have been part of the "intelligence" that was considered when we got into this war?) Saddam hated Islamic fundamentalists, had nothing to do with AL Qaeda and, in fact, worked aggressively to keep them and their influence out of Iraq. Was he a nice man or a just leader, no. Was he an important check on Islamic fundamentalism that is spawning unspeakable violence across the globe, absolutely.

Not only is Iraq suffering the impacts of a civil war, as order has been lost in the country it's opened it up as a launching pad for Islamic violence. In case you're buying the Bush administration's line that Iraq isn't in the midst of a civil war, consider this from a New York Times article last week.

"The number of Iraqi civilians killed in July and August hit 6,599, a record-high number that is far greater than initial estimates suggested, the United Nations said Wednesday.

The report from the U.N. Assistance Mission in Iraq's Human Rights office highlighted the sectarian crisis gripping the country, offering a grim assessment across a range of indicators - worrying evidence of torture, unlawful detentions, growth of sectarian militias and death squads, and a rise in "honor killings" of women."

What would you call it if thousands of Americans were being killed and tortured every month at the hands of other Americans with differing ideologies? I'd call it civil war.

Ugh... not the best day I've had.

Just got back from an impromptu all-employee meeting. The news is not good. Cingular is not going to renew a contract with Infospace that provides us with a lot of revenue. There will be significant layoffs. Don't know for sure yet what it means for me, but I'll be surprised if I'm not impacted. Should know in a week or so... Drat.


InfoSpace says revenue will be hurt by loss of customer
By Tricia Duryee
Seattle Times Eastside business reporter

InfoSpace said today that one of its wireless customers no longer needs its services.

Not having that relationship will negatively affect the company's mobile revenues, which totaled almost $90 million in the first six months of this year, the company said in a release.

InfoSpace helps carriers sell ringtones and other content to wireless customers by developing relationships with record labels and other companies.

In the release, issued after the market closed as employees were called to Meydenbauer Center in Bellevue for a companywide meeting, InfoSpace said one of its customers plans to develop direct licensing relationships with the major record labels starting in early 2007.

Because of this, the company said it plans to rationalize its costs to align them with future revenues. Specific plans will be announced within 30 days.

"While we are disappointed in this decision and we will realign costs to reflect the revenue reduction, we maintain a strong presence in mobile infrastructure and search services," said CEO Jim Voelker.

For the past couple of months, Wall Street analysts criticized InfoSpace's business model because they said carriers could work directly with music labels and studios to cut out InfoSpace, which acts like a middleman.

Besides InfoSpace's mobile division, it also generates revenues from its online properties, such as DogPile and Switchboard.

Today's annoying news...

Study reports 1 in 10 'straight' men have gay sex
BY JORDAN LITE
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER

Nearly 10 percent of New York men who say they're straight are having sex with other men, city health officials found in a first-ever study of the "down-low" phenomenon here.

And a "surprising" 70% of that group are married - and less likely to use condoms or to have been tested for HIV than those who identify themselves as gay, said Dr. Susan Blank, assistant commissioner at the city Health Department.

Most live outside Manhattan, and many are minorities, foreign-born or of low economic and educational status, according to the survey, conducted in 2003 and published in today's Annals of Internal Medicine.

"We expected a substantive percentage [to be married], but we hadn't estimated 70%. No one should be making assumptions. Marital status isn't necessarily an indicator of sexual behavior," Blank said.

The down-low phenomenon, in which supposedly straight men sleep with other men on the sly, has been the subject of anecdotal reports in recent years. However, this is the first time health experts have scientific evidence of it, Blank said.

---

The annoying part here is that apparently even straight men are having more gay sex than I am! That's just wrong.

__

I admit it, I'm an addict.

Yeah, like it's news that I have an addiction, huh? Well, this particular addiction isn't food related so shut up. I must admit when I saw the unbelievably brainy guy (Wayne, who sat across the cube wall from me at my last job) doing some number puzzle every morning, I immediately assumed it was math and that I would hate it. Just looking at him zipping through the puzzle made me feel dumb.

Given my history with numbers, that reaction isn't something you would need a psychic to predict. In 1980 I moved away from home to Provo, Utah to give it the ol' college try at BYU. I would never have imagined that 6 months later I would be the not-so-proud owner of a big fat "F" in beginning math. Oh no, this wasn't beginning COLLEGE math, this was the math they put you in if you're too stupid for college math. In my defense, two things sabotaged my success in the class. First, it was self-paced. Come on. Just out of high-school. Living away from home in a new city adjusting to a whole new life. What made them think I could do a self-paced math class that didn't actually have any, uh, CLASSES? It was up to you to go to the "math lab" and get help when you needed/wanted it and then take the tests on a regular basis to not fall behind. I didn't do either.

If the self-paced nature of the class weren't enough to seal my fate (which it probably was), about 2 weeks into the semester I went roller skating for the first time in my life with an old high school friend who was also going to BYU. Within 5 minutes I'd fallen down and broken my right arm. This put a serious crimp in my activities, starting with the Bowling physical ed class I'd signed up for and including driving the green Forest Service surplus truck my folks had bought and send me off to college with... yes, it had a manual shift transmission. Not so easy to do with your right arm in a cast up to your arm pit. Frankly, getting to the math lab was the last thing on my mind.

Even my eventual success (10 years later when I returned to college) at math hasn't dislodged the lip-curling aversion I have to anything math-like. Numbers just don't make sense to me in that way. Perhaps if they didn't mix the alphabet in with the numbers that would help. But it's too late now, my life as a mathematician just wasn't to be.

So, back to Wayne and his show-off math puzzle. Suddenly, I seemed to be surrounded by a world full of people who were apparent math experts. In every airport I was in, mall food court I ate at, or coffee shop I wandered into, there were brainiacs everywhere hunched over their "Sudoku" puzzle books completely oblivious to how they were making the rest of us non-math people feel.

And then it happened. I tried one. Just to prove to myself that they weren't any fun really. Immediately I realized the folly of my assumptions. There was no math required here! Could you count to nine? Then, hell, you too could be hunkered over your own totally addicting, time-wasting, eye-straining, brain boosting Sudoku puzzles! And now it's even MORE everywhere. Online, of course. The best site I've found is Count To Nine where you can select from 5 different levels of difficulty. But there's also sudoku for your mobile phone, a hand-held game kind of like those goofy poker things that make all the noise and flash a lot, and, of course, every bookstore has scads of the books filled with the brain-straining little grids.

The appeal is its simplicity. While harder puzzles require tremendous concentration and a fair bit of strategy, the basic "rules" of the game are stunningly simple. There are 9 squares ( 3 x 3) each accommodating 9 numbers. Each number ( 1 through 9) can be used only one time in each square and only 1 time in each 3-square puzzle-spanning row or column. That's it.

The difficulty of a puzzle is based on the relevance and the positioning of the "given" numbers (the numbers that are filled in when you start) rather than their quantity. Surprisingly, the number of givens does not always reflect a puzzle's difficulty. The complexity is often based on the number the solving techniques required.

By eliminating which number cannot go into a square, you eventually hit upon the number that can go into a square. Guessing is not part of this game. Logic and strategy (many different strategies are described in the Wikipedia description of Sudoku).

I guess there are worse things to be addicted to, right?

She changed Texas politics. Ann Richards was one of a kind.

"Welcome to the first day of the new Texas!" Ann Richards growled into a microphone as she began her 1991 inaugural address. Ann Richards ushered tremendous change into Texas government. For the first time in the state's history, blacks, Hispanics, gays and lesbians found themselves included and part of state government. Sadly, the early politics of hate and division perfected by George Bush and Carl Rove limited this Grand Lady to one term in office. Her ability to leave an indelible impression on Texas government in just one term as Governor speaks to her level of influence.

It was Rove who brought defeat to Richards in the 1994 gubernatorial election. Though she outspent Bush and started the campaign far ahead of him, Rove turned her new Texas against her, using a standard "God, guns and gays" campaign to bring her down. Richards had vetoed a statute in support of concealed handguns, aware that it would be used against her in the next race, precisely as Rove and Bush did use it.

The politics of division and hate are not new. Perhaps 2006 and 2008 will see an electorate that has had enough. Enough of Republicans using wedge issues (gays and abortion) to coax voters into marking their ballots based on fear or worse, based on hate. We have so many things to unite us, so many issues that deserve our undivided attention. It in unconscionable that politicians would use the smokescreen of wedge issues simply to keep power.

American democracy is relatively young in comparison to the rest of the world's governments. Are we seeing the start of political power plays that will continue to divide Americans to the point of civil war? Sounds crazy, I know. But when you harness the power of hate to motivate an electorate, sometimes the fire gets out of control. You don't have to look very far these days to see "mainstream" right wing constituents and candidates openly saying that if you aren't with us -- meaning the Bush/right-wing agenda for the world -- then you are against us and you should find another country to call your home. Is that really what America stands for? What happened to freedom of speech, freedom of belief?

We need more leaders like Ann Richards. Inclusive, open-minded, smart and funny. More leaders who can inspire the very best in Americans rather than leverage the very worst for their own gain.

In her keynote address at the 1988 Democratic Convention her now legendary speech included such brilliant one-liners as "Poor George, he can't help it,” speaking about the current president's father, former President George Bush. “He was born with a silver foot in his mouth.”

The speech transformed her, then the Texas treasurer, into a national figure. And it made her, a mother of four, an admired champion of feminism. “Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did,” she told the national audience. “She just did it backwards and in high heels.”

Ann Richards died Wednesday at her home in Austin. She was 73. The cause was complications of esophageal cancer. She will be missed.

"Mr. President, You Would Understand If You Had Fought"

As Bush continues to make his case for torture, many who have actually served in combat continue to plead with him to, for a minute, consider that he may not have the only point of view that deserves attention. Of course, he has repeatedly established that he gives no thought or credence to any opposing views, so there won't be reasoned, rational discussion on the issue. Paul Riechoff blogged on The Huffington Post today the following:

---

Paul Riechoff writes:

I want to commend Senators McCain, Graham and Warner, and also General Colin Powell, for their unequivocal stand against the use of torture on enemy detainees. They are right on this issue. And the President is wrong.

As veterans of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars, IAVA's members are standing with these fellow combat veterans in opposing the President's plan for military tribunals involving terror suspects.

For the safety of our own troops, it is absolutely imperative that we take an unequivocal stand against the use of torture on all enemy detainees. Not only is it the right thing to do, it is also the smart thing to do.

It is insulting that the President, who has never served in combat, would dismiss the credible and reasoned advice of men like Senator McCain, a brave combat veteran who endured years of torture as a prisoner of war.

This issue is an example of the President's questionable commitment to our troops, and further demonstrates his failure to grasp the true dynamics of the modern battlefield. How can the President say to our men and women in uniform that he is willing to risk their safety over this? His new rules would put the lives of our fighting men and women serving overseas in jeopardy. The move would also further undermine America's struggle to win hearts and minds worldwide. Maybe the President would understand the righteousness of our stance more clearly if he had personally served in combat.

The President repeatedly tells us that this fight is tough, but those of us who have been there know that already. And the President's stand on this issue will only make it tougher.

America the Entitled

Again today Bush exhibits his utter lack of tolerance and understanding for any point of view other than the one he's been programmed with by the likes of Rove, Cheney and Wolfowitz. The only way they could possibly hold the unwavering conviction that the Bush camp has on the Iraq war and the separate "war on terror" is to have the firm belief that America and the American people are unequivocally superior.

Bushies are incapable of viewing the world through the eyes of anyone but their own. In fact, even suggesting that there may possible be more than one world point of view, or that others across the globe may not see our war efforts as being quite as "pure" as the Bushies do, brings a swarming attack from the right of being unpatriotic and sympathizing with the terrorists.

NO! It's called diplomacy. It's called respecting ALL human life, not just the lives of those lucky few of us who live inside these 50 states. It's called not having the idea that this country has the "God-given" right to whatever the hell we want (oil) or the belief that we can impose our will on other countries down to the form of government that we find acceptable for them to practice? How long will the rest of the world tolerate the unfathomable depths of our national leader's hubris?

In a news conference today a reporter asks Bush to comment on Colin Powell's concern that the world will not look kindly on America abandoning its morals and things like, oh say the Geneva Convention articles which prohibit torture. Of course, he completely evades the point and basically paints his fellow-Republican (Colin Powell no less!) as a terrorist sympathizer. Could he possibly be this stupid? Or, has Rove just taught him so well how to reframe an argument with vitriolic language away from a valid point that he can't resist even using it against one of his own? Here's the exchange with the reporter today:

QUESTION: Mr. President, former Secretary of State Colin Powell says, "The world is beginning to doubt the moral basis of our fight against terrorism." If a former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and former secretary of state feels this way, don't you think that Americans and the rest of the world are beginning to wonder whether you're following a flawed strategy?

Bush's Response:
_______________________________________________________________________

BUSH: If there's any comparison between the compassion and decency of the American people and the terrorist tactics of extremists, it's flawed logic.

It's just -- I simply can't accept that.

It's unacceptable to think that there's any kind of comparison between the behavior of the United States of America and the action of Islamic extremists who kill innocent women and children to achieve an objective.

My job and the job of people here in Washington, D.C., is to protect this country. We didn't ask for this war.
You might remember the 2000 campaign. I don't remember spending much time talking about what it might be like to be a commander in chief in a different kind of war.

But this enemy has struck us and they want to strike us again. And we'll give our folks the tools necessary to protect the country. That's our job.

It's a dangerous world. I wish it wasn't that way. I wish I could tell the American people, "Don't worry about it. They're not coming again." But they are coming again.

And that's why I've sent this legislation up to Congress. And that's why we'll continue to work with allies in building a vast coalition, to protect not only ourselves but them.

The facts are -- is that after 9/11, this enemy continued to attack and kill innocent people.

I happen to believe that they're bound by a common ideology. Matter of fact, I don't believe it, I know they are. And they want to impose that ideology throughout the broader Middle East. That's what they have said.

Makes sense for the commander in chief and all of us involved in protecting this country to listen to the words of the enemy. And I take their words seriously. And that's what's going to be necessary to protect this country, is to listen carefully to what they say and stay ahead of them as they try to attack us.

Steve?

QUESTION: Can I just follow up?

BUSH: No, you can't.

Steve?
_______________________________________________________________

OK, here's the Cliff Notes:

Question: Mr. President, are you concerned about how the world may view America if we abandon our morals in the name of a war on terror?

Bush: How can you possibly say that Americans are anything like the baby-killing terrorists? They want to kill you and I'm not going to let them kill you. Are you scared? You should be scared. They want to kill you. Vote Republican.

That's about the extent of his argument.

And the truth will set us free...

Below is an address given by Senator Robert Byrd on the floor of the U.S. Senate today. THIS is what Democrats need to be screaming from every rooftop. Stop letting Republicans get away with their terrorizing Americans into voting for them. Speak the truth over and over and sooner or later, people will listen and learn.


Thursday, September 14th, 2006
I Hope That We May Find the Courage...

By Senator Robert C. Byrd

US Senate Floor Remarks
September 13, 2006

Mr. President,

September 11 has come and gone, and as we remember those lost on that fateful day, and contemplate events since the horrific attack, one truth stands out.

The war in Iraq has backfired, producing more recruits for terrorism, and deep divisions within our own country. It is a war we should never have begun. The detour from our attack on Bin Laden and his minions, hiding in the cracks and crevices of the rough terrain of Afghanistan, to the unwise and unprovoked attack on Iraq has been a disastrous one. Mr. Bush’s war has damaged the country because he drove our blessed land into an unnecessary conflict, utterly misreading the consequences, with the result now being a daily display of America’s vulnerabilities to those who wish us ill. The United States is a weaker power now, especially in the Middle East, but also in the court of world opinion. Where is the America of restraint, of peace and of inspiration to millions? Where is the America respected not only for her military might, but also for her powerful ideas and her reasonable diplomacy?

Our country may have deviated occasionally from its positive global image in the past, but Abu Ghraib, the body snatching for torture, euphemistically called rendition, Presidential directives which unilaterally alter conditions of the Geneva Convention -- these are not the stuff of mere slight deviations from the America of peacefulness, fairness, and goodwill. These are major policy and attitudinal changes of Tsunami-sized proportions. Our friends shake their heads in disbelief. Our enemies nod wisely and claim they knew all the while. I cannot remember a time in our history when our elected leaders have failed the people so completely, and yet, so far, are not held accountable for costly misjudgments and outright deceptions.

Take our Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld, for example. He misread the Iraqi situation entirely. He adamantly dismisses suggestions for a larger force in Iraq. He failed to object when the White House’s Coalition Provisional Authority disbanded the Iraqi army, only to have them go underground and provide fodder for the insurgency. He insisted that the Iraqi people would view our soldiers as liberators not occupiers, and even failed to properly anticipate the equipment needs of our men and women in harm’s way.

Secretary Rumsfeld continues to insist that we are not facing a civil war in Iraq despite convincing evidence to the contrary, and yet he sits comfortably in his office as the echo of his errors in judgment and strategy continues to cost thousands of lives.

Then there is President Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney. These men continue to try to make the American public swallow whole the line that the war in Iraq is the front line of a global war on terror, which must be continued at all costs. Stay the course, they say, despite three years of discouragingly little progress in Iraq. The body count is approaching 2,700 for our side, tens of thousands for the beleaguered Iraqi people, and billions of American tax dollars, of which an embarrassingly large chunk has been wasted by irresponsible contractors, and government officials who lack the proper respect for the public purse. Many of our allies have left the field, recognizing the truth that the Administration fails to see: namely, we had the weapons to win the war, but not the wisdom to secure the peace.

Yet, too many in the public are complacent about the numerous violations of their trust and the continuing loss of life in Iraq. Some of our citizens have apparently been convinced that it is unpatriotic to criticize one’s country when that country is engaged in an armed conflict. In fact, in our land today, there is a troubling tolerance for government overreaching on fronts at home as well as abroad. This Administration has repeatedly used fear and flag-waving to blunt the traditional American insistence on the Bill of Rights, personal freedom of thought and action, privacy, and one’s right to speak and write as one pleases. Such a cynical exercise on the part of high officials of our government is unconscionable. It is shameful behavior for which there is no excuse.

The Congress, under the control of the President’s party has been submissive, a lap dog wagging its tail in appreciation of White House secrecy and deception. Even the vast majority of the opposition party has been too quiet for too long -- unable to find its voice, stunted by the demand to “support the troops.” We forget, too often, that there is a very real difference between support for the troops and support for an unnecessary war. The men and women of our military did not ask to go to those faraway places, but they were willing. They answered their country’s call. We have an obligation to support them, but we do not need to follow blindly the unthinking policies that keep them mired in the middle of a civil war.

The American public is our last best hope now. Our people must demand more from their representatives in the Congress and from their leaders in the White House. Donald Rumsfeld should be replaced by the President because he has made so many grievous errors in judgement on Iraq and because a new voice at the helm of the Department of Defense could be a breath of fresh air for our policies in Iraq. His replacement would be good for our country. Yet even a sense of the Senate vote of “no confidence” in Mr. Rumsfeld’s leadership has been blocked by the President’s party in the Senate. Personal accountability has been long absent from this Administration, and this Senator would like to see it return.

One would hope that men and women who rise to positions of awesome responsibility would have the grace, dignity, and honor to know in their own hearts when a well-timed resignation would advance patriotic goals. But, too often, the selfish love of power or some misguided show of toughness wins the days to the detriment of our country’s fortunes. Donald Rumsfeld ought to step down or his President ought to ask him to. There is too much at stake for any other course. Personally, I believe the President is derelict in his duties when he does not ask for Mr. Rumsfeld’s latchkey. The bungling and loss of life attendant to this tragic three-year long debacle in Iraq have hurt this country, its public image, and its ability to achieve numerous other national and international goals. That kind of dangerous ineptitude cannot be excused.

But like so many things when it comes to Iraq and the Middle East in general, the United States of America is stuck in neutral, with the only thing showing vigorous movement the ever spiraling price of gasoline. We have destabilized the Middle East, and handed the mullahs a way to affect the daily lives and livelihood of every American, and the efficacy of our military might -- the oil supply lines upon which our economy and our military depend.

Now that oil supply is a favorite target for terrorists who have learned the joys of bombing pipelines, and listening to America bite its nails about the high cost of gasoline, while it laments its lack of foresight in developing alternative fuels.

Now, we have passed yet another anniversary of the bloody attacks which precipitated the disastrous situation in which our country finds itself today. Yet, while we mourn, there are hard truths to confront.

Our attention has been shifted, by design and deception, too quickly from the war in Afghanistan -- a war that we needed to fight and win. Now the Taliban is on the rise in that country. Al Qaeda continues to find sanctuary in the mountains. Violence is on the rise, and peace and stability are in jeopardy.

North Korea, probably reacting to our doctrine of preemption and our newfound bellicosity, has increased its nuclear capability. Iran has been emboldened by our inability to stop the violence in Iraq, and by the lukewarm support we have garnered from traditional allies. Even the people of Turkey, one of the United States’ staunchest allies with Turkey a member of NATO, and a model of secular Muslim democracy, have turned against us. A survey conducted by the German Marshall Fund of the United States indicates that Iran has become one of the most popular countries in Turkey, and that there is a growing willingness to identify with radical Islam. A display of ineptitude and spectacular miscalculation in Iraq has cost us dearly. Disenchantment at home with the dismal results in Iraq will have reverberations for years, much like the failure in Vietnam did in the 1960's.

President Bush insists that his war must go on. He defends warrantless wiretapping of our own citizens as essential to his cause, despite a court decision that the President has no such authority under our Constitution. He defends torture and rendition, and says that they have produced valuable evidence which has subverted several terror attacks on our country. But, his credibility is so damaged that it is difficult to believe him. He demands the authority to hold terror suspects indefinitely, and then to try them using military tribunals which deny basic rights, also in defiance of a Supreme Court ruling. He seems convinced that he can “win” a global war on terror despite the demonstrated failure of his policies of unilateralism, militarism, overheated rhetoric, and a pathological dislike of diplomacy. It is up to the Congress to change course and to stop the heinous raiding of constitutionally protected liberties by a White House which does not fully appreciate the true meaning of the word freedom. I hope that we may find the courage.